Undressing the Wedding Guest Dress Dilemma
Accessorized with a small rant about the wedding industry.
I am in the phase of life where the door of my fridge is exclusively reserved for displaying wedding invitations. I have been invited to eight weddings this year alone—many of my friends are getting married and I’m so excited for each celebration!
Before becoming a semi-professional wedding attendee, I lived in blissful naiveté of the costs associated with each wedding. Of course, I had heard that weddings were expensive, but I didn’t realize the true extent of the costs until it was my turn to RSVP “yes”. I know, I know—the betrothed couple (and their families) are shelling out the most cash, but it is still a major investment for the guests too.
Because I moved away from my hometown in Washington, attended school in California, and then moved to New York City, my friends and family are spread out all over the country. Therefore, every wedding is a destination wedding, even if it’s just in my hometown. This is by no means groundbreaking information, but with the cost of flights, hotels, transportation, a dress, and a gift, each wedding costs me $1,500 at a bare minimum. Don’t forget to throw in the bachelorette costs! True love is so freaking expensive!
I’ll save my long-form lament about how out-of-control I think weddings have become for another post and focus this piece on a tangible problem: the wedding guest dress.
You would think that given the exorbitant price of being a wedding guest, I would be eager to cut costs wherever possible. Sure, I’ll split a hotel room with another couple for the weekend but I won’t sacrifice my wedding guest dress.
The peak wedding attendance season of my life will probably last around five years. The way I see it, these are five years to look young, beautiful, and fancy! I always dress for the most formal interpretation of the event’s dress code and I truly love filling my closet with black-tie apparel. I’ve ordered wedding guest dresses months in advance and I’ve desperately scoured the racks at Nordstrom the day of. Screw the bride—I want to be best dressed (I’m kidding! Kind of!).
If I’m being honest, I started this post to magically solve everyone’s wedding guest dress problems. I wanted to share dozens of gorgeous and affordable dresses—but once I started digging (and I mean really digging) around the internet, I was faced with the sad reality that there are very few viable options.
Why is it impossible to find a good wedding guest dress?(!)
A million other girls must be in my position, so why is it so hard to find a beautiful wedding guest dress under $300? Or even under $500? The Zara dresses look cheap, the Reformation dresses are basic (and still expensive), and the Moda Operandi trunk shows are out of budget. I’m about ready to start my own wedding guest dress company and solve this problem myself!
Here’s what I can offer you instead: some affordable dress options, unaffordable dress inspiration, and very real tips on how to find dresses that marry the two (see what I did there?).
Actual Dresses You Can Buy Online Right Now
*These are the dresses I found that I like and would wear myself. There is a HUGE price variation so please use the expensive ones as inspiration. (More reasonably priced dresses at the end of this post).
How to find a fabulous wedding guest dress:
Buy it when you find it, not when you need it. I swear, whenever I’m on the hunt for something specific, I’m never able to find it. The lesson I’ve learned is that if you find a dress that you love, buy it! Don’t wait for an event on your calendar to make the purchase. Trust me, an occasion will present itself and you’ll be so glad you already have something amazing to wear!
Save inspiration as it presents itself. A similar but more strategic point to the one above. If you find a dress that you love and it’s out of your price range, bookmark it! I’ve stalked dresses on the internet for months and have eventually found them on-sale!
Buy vintage! I went to A Current Affair, a massive vintage market in Brooklyn, this past weekend and found dress after dress. The market happens multiple times a year and I highly recommend attending if you are in the area for some killer in-person shopping. Vintage dresses are typically better quality and so much more interesting! I found multiple vintage dresses for under $300 that would be perfect for a wedding. A few of my favorite vintage places to shop online are: Gossamer, Call me the Breeze, The Real Real, and Happy Isles.
Shop second-hand. I found an amazing Bernadette dress (that I almost purchased full-price) for under $300 from Refind in Seattle. I religiously follow the store’s Instagram account and there are excellent wedding guest dress options posted almost daily. Checking The Real Real has also become a vital part of my morning routine.
Just rent it! I was once an extremely loyal Rent the Runway subscriber (2018 was back in the good ol’ days of unlimited rentals.) I don’t regularly use a rental service anymore but I have to say that I am impressed with RTR’s current selection of wedding guest dress rentals. Pro tip: the better inventory is available for the 4 or 8 day rental periods instead of going through a monthly membership. It’s more expensive but a lot cheaper than buying a new dress for every ocassion. I also know a lot of gals who love renting on Pickle—I just wish there were more size options since most of the good stuff is size XS/S.
More dresses!
I’ll be updating my ShopMy page with more wedding guest dresses as I find them so be sure to follow there for more inspiration!
love. try eunoiaa.com for custom dresses too!
I’m def guilty of panic-buying a dress the week before the wedding! Love the inspo